Friday, March 7, 2008

One more for the road





Alice’s good friend Rich in Brooklyn sends us this from Asylum.com:

Three-Way on the Freeway
Feb 27th 2008
By Tom Radler
You've heard of the "Mile-High Club?" How about the "60-mile-per-hour club"?
A naked man and two naked women were stopped in British Columbia last week for alleged sex acts while driving on the Trans-Canada Highway.
Apparently, the amorous trio was making a point of showing off to other motorists while getting it on in the car. After several complaints, a cop followed the fingered car home.
Police took one of the women to a mental hospital, and it's likely that the guy will be charged with "driving without due care and attention."
Questions Raised: How do you position three people for carnality in a standard car? Was a stick-shift involved and/or charged with anything?

I’m impressed that the writer went the extra mile to provide discussion questions and have three of my own:

a) Why not just pull over? I could see doing this in Florida, where the highway scenery is so fucking dull you’d do anything to relieve the boredom. But the BC is so lovely.....why would anyone want to miss it just to see dank or wobbly things that can’t possible be as pretty as Victoria?

b) “Police took one of the women to a mental hospital.”? Why? Was the sex so good it made her insane? Were the other people involved so unattractive that the cops thought “She must be crazy,” and hauled her off in the cookie wagon?
A story on The Province says she was “taken to Royal Jubilee Hospital under the Mental Health Act.” I have never read this Mental Health Act and wonder if it thoughtfully includes help for anyone kookoo enough to get penetrated at high rates of speed with a driver who is probably smashed on endorphins.

c) What kind of car would best accommodate a three-way?
The likely choice would be “Hummer,” “Winnebago,” or some other vehicle larger than a NY apartment so folks have room to maneuver.
I’m not so sure. I’m going to go the other way and say Mazda Miata (1992), BMW convertible (2002) and Karmen Ghia (1968). In these cramped spaces you might be forced into hitherto undiscovered positions and find they rock! Who’da thought a knee cap would fit there! That an elbow could taste so good! There’s a reason clowns are always so chipper when they get outta those cars. Honk honk!


(the clown car artwork came from the racing blog Full Throttle)

1 comment:

JimmyBoi2 said...

“Police took one of the women to a mental hospital.”

I love that! That's the climax of the story for me. It brought me right back to the Middle Ages: the man gets a ticket; the woman gets a sentence. OY !!!